[1] if you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

[2] can you cry under water?

[3] how important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

[4] why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

[5] once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

[6] why does a round pizza come in a square box?

[7] what disease did cured ham actually have?

[8] how is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

[9] why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

[10] if a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

[11] why are you in a movie, but you're on tv?

[12] why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

[13] why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

[14] why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

[15] why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

[16] if jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a ****** song about him?

[17] can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

[18] if the professor on gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

[19] why does goofy stand erect while pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

[20] if wile e. Coyote had enough money to buy all that acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

[21] if corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

[22] if electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

[23] do the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle little star have the same tune?

[24] why did you just try singing the two songs above?

[25] why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

[26] did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

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